We're Adopting!

Scott and I have been married for 9 years on Monday. (For all of those wanting to say congratulations on 9 years –“Thanks, yes, it’s been wonderful, thank you”) Anyway, we have been trying to have our own children for 7 years. As most of you already know we are trying to “get” a baby! Since this particular situation is a part of my life you will be getting quite the earful from me on this subject from time to time. (Yes, I know you have already been reading about my frustrations on not being a mother yet, I’m just giving you further warning.) Today I thought it would be appropriate to do some advertising and since I have this blogging phenomenon at my finger tips maybe something phenomenal might happen.

Why have I not done this before now you ask? That’s a freakn’ good question! I have no idea. I was just sitting here today thinking about what other ways I can get my name and face out there and “Hello” the blog popped into my mind. I have links on this blog that take you to other related adoption sights and it STILL did not dawn on me to post my own advertisement. So, in the next couple of days you’ll be seeing some additions to my blog in relation to us trying to adopt. I also have a link, which I will also post long term that takes you to one of our profiles available to the public through www.itsaboutlove.org (Our second profile, yes, we’ll have two, will be available for browsing in the next couple of weeks) If for any reason you would like to share any of this information with someone you know who might be interested we would totally LOVE THAT!! So help us spread the word! “WE WANT TO BE PARENTS” (that’s right, scream it from the roof tops for us….or along with us. You can actually scream “SCOTT AND SHAWNA WANT TO BE PARENTS” so no one is confused that it’s you who want more children……You understand what I’m saying) Thanks so much for your help and kind words. Without you we know it would take a lot longer.

The sprint we hope will happen

Since we’ve been in our house we’ve had our home to ourselves for a total of 8 months. We’ve lived in our home for over 2 years. The other 16 some odd months we have had someone or some bodies living with us. Yes, I know, we are the nicest people ever! It’s true. For the most part being able to share my home with family and friends has been a blessing. Since we don’t have any children it has been easy to accept others into our home. It’s our way of helping them get their feet on the ground. All...., except one, has left our home running full sprint.

Scott’s brother is back and has been with us for only one week. Pulling my hair out comes to mind; or maybe stabbing my eye with a pencil. In a year can you imagine what I will look like if I continue this selfish spiral? Yes, that’s how long the agreement is for. (Or until we receive the miraculous call that we are getting a baby…I believe in Miracles!)

I’m praying for a better attitude, an open mind, and more patience! I just hope that his stay with us will eventually end with him sprinting toward his dreams!

What Disney Princess are you?

I got this link from my sister in law. It was kinda fun so I thought the rest of you would like to try it out to see what Disney princess you are. Let me know. What's very interesting about this princess is that she is really one of my ansectors. It's true. I could show ya. Anyway, have fun with this.

Free-spirited and wise. You have a strong passionate spirit that touches and changes all who know you. The wisdom and common sense that you have is really what guides you through life. Even so, you also have a very playful side that loves adventure and excitement.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Grandpa Pug

On Sunday I got a call from my mom letting me know that my grandpa was in the hospital and that he was dying. We jumped in the car and headed down to the Payson hospital. I was pretty quiet on the way down, reflecting on what was happening and the changes that were to come. I remember it was raining and it was beautiful. We were about 5 minutes from the hospital when the hymn, “Each life that touches ours for good” came on. I thought of my grandpa and all the great memories we’ve had. He was my hunting buddy, my fourwheeln’ buddy, and he loved to come out and camp with us. Whenever you would go and visit grandma and grandpa Sanderson you always knew grandpa would offer you ice cream or cake. And if you didn’t want any you’d get a bowl full of it anyway. As I was listening to the song I also had a feeling of peace, grandpa had passed and I knew my brother, along with other loved ones, were there to greet him on the other side. The phone rang bringing me back to reality. “Shawna, grandpa just passed away.” We walked into the hospital and said our goodbyes. I Love you Grandpa! We are really going to miss you.

The Sunflower

This year I finally got to the landscaping of my front yard. I was so excited to finally have a chance to work on it. I took a whole Saturday and finalized everything. My grass doesn’t look the greatest but I’m doing my best to maintain it. Now, if you were to look in my backyard it’s a different story. The lawn is kept mowed but the perimeter of the lawn is covered in 6 foot weeds. Even the elevation where the big trees grow has become entangled in weeds and is quite an eyesore.

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A couple of weeks ago I was struggling with the woes of life. It was one of those moments when you look at where you are and you either get really excited or you get really depressed. I was focusing, at this time, on where I thought I should be at the age of thirty. I was sad because both my sister’s have now moved out of state and not just a few states away, but clear across the country. I am struggling with getting into the whole adoption waiting process (I never in my wildest dreams imagined having a family would be this hard.) I’m mad that all the fertility pills I took over the years made me a fat lardo and now losing the weight is just as hard for me as trying to have children. And I hate that I have to go to work everyday instead of taking my children, which I don’t have, swimming or doing whatever fun activity you can enjoy with your children over the summer, or at any time.
As you can see this was a destructive thought process. I even consider myself a happy person. This last time was pretty bad though. Keeping busy helped me a lot. I remember when my brother passed away. I thought nothing would be as hard or depressing as that. And as we all know, the trials just keep a comin. One thing I’ve learned…you can never compare your trials!
I’ve been reading a book called “The Glass Castle” by Jeanette Walls. It’s a true story about Jeanette’s life. Reading this has brought clarity to my mind in regards to trials we encounter. I have always been thankful for the things that I have been blessed with, even my trials. But reading about other people and their life struggles can help put your own life into perspective.


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The other day I came home from a very tiring day at work. Sam, our dog, greeted me at the door but was hesitant to greet me in her usual exciting way. She was a little forlorn. I knew right away that something was wrong. I made my way into the kitchen... nope, no pooh on the floor. I made my way down the hall and as I came to our bedroom I noticed that the door was open and a very foul smell came a wafting up my nostrils. As I made my way into the room I saw before me a horrendous nightmare! Sam had literally exploded all over our room. There was pooh and dog puke everywhere. It was in our bathroom, all over the floor and to my utter horror it was all over in our BED!!!!(the gag reflex started taking over at this point) Sam didn't realize she had came very close to living out her last day. She had done all this early enough in the day that it had time to really soak into the floor and bed. I started to cry. This was NOT a mess I wanted to deal with. Scott couldn’t handle it; he’d be puking and making the same mess she had if he would have tried to tackle it, so it was up to me to set to cleaning it up. It came down to us having to buy a new mattress. Funny thing, I didn’t mind that we needed a new mattress. Interesting..., something great came out of this horrible mess. I slept great on my new mattress that night. (thanks also goes out to George W. Bush and that great stimulus package of his)

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A couple of days ago I got up to get ready for work. It was a little darker in the bathroom then normal so I opened up the bathroom window, it was over cast and trying to rain. I took in a deep breathe to smell the cool summer morning air. Instantly I noticed it. It struck me so strong. It was vivid and beautiful. Among the 6 foot weeds in my unkempt backyard stood a strong and beautiful sunflower. I had never noticed it before. It seemed as if it was placed there specifically for me on that morning. It had grown right up through the thick roots of the weeds that were surrounding it. It grew where it was placed and it was beautiful. Everything became so clear and I realized that I could truly handle anything. Dog throw up, adopting my family, missing my sister’s, losing a brother, or trying to loose weight. Life is good, we have been given so much, and it’s up to us on how to grow amongst the weeds of life!

Independence Day 2008

Since we weren't able to make it out to Oregon (the best place to be in the world over July 4th) We decided to take a trip down to hell (Las Vegas) to visit The woman and the Man. Hell was a whopping 112 degrees while we were there so we spent most of our time inside. We had a great time, as always. And we were greeted with open arms and the tugging of the blankets as our nieces woke us up for the yummy fourth of July breakfast. We started out the morning with a few haircuts....hence the picture of the little man below. He did well despite all the tears!

Now just because we spent most of our time inside it didn't go to waste. We snuck in a hour or so of some guitar hero. We both rocked!

Later in the afternoon the "Woman's" sister and her family came over for a BBQ but not before we went on our awesome Fourth of July picture scavenger hunt compliments of the "Woman." We has a ton of fun and the kids loved it. Below are a few of the things we had to find.

Picture in front of a firework stand. 10pts. Check

A car decorated for the fourth. 15 pts. Check

Dessert in red, white, and blue. 10 pts. Check

Sing the National Anthem with a stranger. 15 pts. Check

A darn cute picture of the the "Little Man". Priceless. Check

A lit sparkler (for sake of time we got crazy and lit it while driving). 10 pts. Check

Puzzle of the US. 10 pts. Check

A great weekend spent with family. Again, Priceless. Check

Thanks T & K for a great Fourth of July weekend. We really had a great time, as always. Hope everyone else enjoyed celebrating the freedom we enjoy by living in this great country.

Heber Valley Camp

Girl's camp this year was like going to the Sheraton! No roughing it here. It was really nice though and we all had a great time. The girl's were angles to what I've seen in the past with other girl's camps I've been to and we all slept in the same Yurt (cabin).
I have a limited amount of pictures, Scott's the photo taker in our family so I'm not that quick to realize when there's a "Kodak" moment. If you want to see some more fun pics from camp check this out.

Here's our camp site (if you can call it a camp site)

The inside of our Yurt. It was set out in a circular pattern and it really made it fun to interact with all the girls.

This is the Frog we got to take care of up at camp. The girls loved him so much they almost killed him. His name is Gorf, Oscar, Bubbles, Charlie, and so on. I like Gorf best.



A shot of our girls and some of the leaders preparing lunch. In the background you can see the shape of the Yurts.


Kayla and Dani Rose heading out on the 4th year hike. They are leaving hot showers and flushing toilets to spend 12 hours hiking and sleeping in the mountains up above us.

Some of the free time consisted of doing hair. Straighting hair is one thing I never did a girl's camp.

It was a ton of fun. Coming back to the hum drum of life was kinda sad but as soon as a walked back into work I almost started to cry. I love my Young Women and we really did have a fantastic week!

My resident photographer

This year Scott has really come along with his photography business. In the next couple of months he's hoping to get his own photo web site up and running for folks to view. Every weekend for the past 3-4 months he has had some kind of photo shoot going on. I'm so proud he's following one of his dreams. I just wanted to share just a few of the many, many wonderful pictures he has taken. He has also taken wildlife pics and outdoors pics but I thought I'd throw in people pics instead. Tell me what you think.

Just plain slow

Now for some reason, I don’t know if it’s just the nature of the way the Lord runs this great green earth and everything on it, but I’ve decided that there’s this cycle where your brain is either running on top notch, semi top notch, ok, or just plain slow! Today was one of those instances where my mind and body seemed to start out at “just plain slow”.
Of course there are many ways this slowness can happen. You can say something stupid, laugh at something that’s not really that funny, do something disgusting, or do other embarrassing or other character compromising things.

My "Just plain slow" moment started on my way into work. In the mornings I usually scramble out out of bed, get ready for the day and then dash outside to the car to make it into work around 7:00 am. So, I’m still fairly “new”, as my dad would say, when I arrived at work. I noticed after I had left my parked car that the CEO had arrived at the same time I had and was walking toward me to obviously start a conversation as we began to walk into the building together. Now since this is the CEO of the company you want to come across as smart and as charismatic as possible. This morning I did the complete opposite. I left my home late enough that I had brought my makeup in with me and so I looked pretty pasty and blah, I also wasn’t too happy with the outfit I had chosen to put on for the day so my self-esteem factor was riding pretty low at this point. So of course while I’m talking to Rob I’m very aware of what I must look like and how awful I feel about myself when BAM! there’s the concrete barrier that divides the building from the parking lot.

Rob: “Oh WOW, are you ok?” (A faint chuckle)

(uhm, no idiot, do you really think I’m going to be ok after what I just did)

“Yeah, Yeah, I’m ok."

Rob: “are you sure, you hit that pretty hard?”

(My knee and forehead are starting to throb)

“No, really, I’m ok" (Just get away and leave me alone!)

Rob: “do you want me to help you to your office?”

“No, I’m good,… really, I’m fine!"

(For the LOVE, MAN! Let the agony stop!)

He finally CLUES in and allows me to get to my office on my own and he finally goes on his merry way. I bet the first thing he did when he got to his office was grab one of the executives and say, “Dude (while starting to laugh) you’ll never believe what just happened on my way in from the parking lot!”

I, on the other hand, went straight to the bathroom to nurse not only my forehead and knee but my ego! What a great way to start off my week!

Midnight Drama

In all the 9 years Scott and I have been married he has occasionally entertained me at night. Not the kind of entertainment you automatically assume I’m talking about, no, the kind that wakes you up suddenly from a deep sleep only to find that your husband is re-creating the game he was playing the night before on the XBOX. (What's funny is he doesn't play that often) There are several occasions in the past that I can bring to mind clear as day. These occurrences happen often and most of the time I have to talk him out of his dream. It makes me laugh right out loud.

Last night was one of these very entertaining moments!

Let me set up the scene: It’s about 3:45 am. I wake up to Scott Yelling quite loud and sudden.

“SAM, SAM (our dog)…..get the h@#* out of the bed!....."GET DOWN”….. (Like a Panther, Scott suddenly flings himself violently to the side of the bed and lays low)


"SH*&!!"

“Men, get back and throw the Sparklers! NOW….. Do it NOW……"

"SH!*!!”

Now this is the point where I realize what’s going on. First of all, Scott never says the word SH@* and he never calls out to any “men” on a regular basis. He’s having another recon dream. I quietly lean over and wait for the drama to continue.

“SH*&! If you don’t throw those sparklers now they’re going to kill us. THROW THEM, THROW THEM! …..How can you call yourself a SOLIDER! You’re nothing but a WORTHLESS PIECE OF..”

And this is where I finally have to wake him up.

“Scott, Scott, are you ok?” (I mean come on, he's just moved like a Panther to duck and cover and he's swearing like a sailor)

“Are you awake?”

******SILENCE******

(Then in a soft and muffled voice) “I’m so embarrassed.” then he slowly gets up off the floor.

“Go back to sleep babe. I don't want anyone to kill you and watch out for those sparklers they might really do some damage!” (Now I’m laughing)

“Well, since I’m up I might as well go to the bathroom.”

And that’s it. That's the end of our midnight drama! Scott makes his way slowly to the bathroom and I lay awake for a couple minutes my heart finally slows down and I fall back to sleep.

Good Bye, We'll miss you!

Kelly and Andrew left for Alabama. It's crazy to think how fast the time goes.

It all started when we came back from our annual 4th of July trip to the Oregon coast. Andrew had just received his BA and was finishing up his summer semester. Before they took off for graduate school where Andrew could get his MA and Kelly could finish up nursing school they decided they should make a pit stop in Utah while waiting to be accepted to graduate school. 10 months later, and after working and saving up they are on their way to Alabama. (The second top school in the nation for sports management -Andrew's forte)
We had a ton of great times. I think I'll be the one to miss them the most. It's been rather hard adjusting to a quite home again. Thanks Kel and Andrew for making this one of the best 10 months of our lives! We love you and wish you the best in everything!

You can find out about their cross-country trip @ http://www.andrewkellymarie.blogspot.com/

Love you guys!! We'll miss you!

8 miles

For the last year my dad has been trying to get us to hike to Dry Lake. This was a childhood summer hike he would make and he wanted to share it with us. Finally, the weekend before Kelly and Andrew had to leave we made the plan.

So, Saturday at 9:30 we started our 1000 ft ascent. We had no idea what we were up against and according to my dad this was a 4 mile hike along the ridge line. Mind you, we were just a mile or so outside of Eureka in Juab county so this was pretty rugged, no one in sight kinda of country. We went straight up the first mountain (my calves were bulging and burning at this point) but once we got to the top we were all looking forward to the ridge line. The first picture below shows our half way mark. If you look at the last ridge in the picture, the one with the snow....yeah, that one, that is where dry lake is. Here, at the half way point is when we started to ask how long this hike really was. 10 hours later, and with no water left we made it back and all in one piece.

The day was perfect. Hiking along the ridge line kept us cool. The wind would come up through the canyon, without it I know we would have all succumbed to heatstroke. Not really, but it was a life saver.

Andrew was the Biologist on the hike. He stopped to take some meat out of the middle of some cactus and got a few needles wedged in his thumb. It was quite the "sticky" situation.

The snow was also a blessing. It's not very often you can stop and cool down in snow in 80 degree weather, on a rugged trail, after already hiking 3 miles, and pulling cactus needles from you hand. What a blast!

Mingling with the local folk.
Our destination...Dry Lake. We were pleasantly surprised at how beautiful it was. The picture doesn't do it justice. Before we reached the summit and saw the lake, we were discussing what we were expecting when we got there. True, there were no cascading waterfalls, or beautiful blue lagoons to wade in but it came close though, don't you think?

My dad is a mountain goat in disguise. He would have never stopped if weren't for us and all our lung problems. I mean come on who else needs to stop for air when you know you've got 8 miles ahead of you, it's a piece of cake. My mom was also quite amazing!

Proof that maxi pads really are the most bionic bandage out there. Dad fell on a rock pretty hard on the way back. He has a blood condition that lets him bleed forever. Anyway, having a maxi pad around saved the day. We teased him; "So dad, now you can tell everyone at work that you have worn a maxi pad". (giggle, giggle)



When we got back to the truck it was 8:30 pm. We were all so proud of ourselves. We came home, had a nice hot shower and then had the best sleep ever. Thanks dad for allowing us to test our limits, for allowing us to take in the great beauty of the outdoors, and for making another great memory together!

My Weekend Surprise

Saturday afternoon Scott leaned over and asked if I wanted to go to a laser show at the Clark Planetarium. My sister's and their husbands were planning on hanging out that night at our house and so I said, “Can we invite them to come with us?” Scott commented on how nice it would be to do this alone. (We used to go to laser shows at the Hansen Planetarium. One of our favorites to see was the laser “U2” show. It’s back again and Scott wanted to revisit memory lane.) Again I insisted that we invite my sister’s and their husbands to join us. Scott, the good man that he is, gave in to my request but instead of going to the laser show he suggested dinner. I accepted.
Kristy and Ryan showed up to the house around 6:30. We were all getting ready to leave when I noticed that my brown sandals were missing. Now mind you, I had a white pair of sandals on already. I had just noticed as I was putting on my white sandals that I could not place where my brown sandals were. Even though I wasn't planning on wearing the brown sandals I suddenly started to obsess about the sandals and of there whereabouts. I looked downstairs. I looked under the bed. I looked in the garage. It got to the point where everyone was saying, “come on, let’s go, we’ll look for them when we get back.” I finally got in the car. I couldn't stop talking about where the heck my sandals could be. Scott finally turned to me and said, “Calm down. Just let it go and we’ll find them when we get back. I mean come on, they’re just shoes!” So I did, I let it go. But in my mind I still obsessed.

We ate dinner. We had a really great time. We were there for a while talking when Andrew suggested going to Temple Square to see the flowers. I thought it was a great idea. So we all jumped in our cars and took off for Salt Lake. I was talking the whole way into Salt lake (and still obsessing about my blasted sandals) when Scott turned the car into the Little America hotel parking lot.

“What are we doing here?” I said. “This isn’t Temple Square.”

“I know it isn’t. I know how hard mother’s day can be for you so I decided to take you away for the weekend. Church is taken care of. There are no meetings tomorrow and I made arrangements for Young Women’s. There is nothing to worry about. By the way…..Your flippn’ brown sandals are in your luggage in the trunk. The laser show was my ploy to get you down town but since you wouldn’t have it, Andrew swooped in with the Temple square idea. You have come pretty close to having the little things ruin it for you.” (Man alive was that ever true.)

Oh, my word! What a surprise. Not only had the mystery of the missing brown sandals been solved but Scott was whisking me away from a potential heartache.

It was such a nice and relaxing evening. We finished off our stay at the Little America Hotel with a nice Mother’s Day Brunch the following morning. We waited in line at the hotel for about an hour. It was well worth it though. I had endless amounts of crab legs, chocolate dipped strawberries, yummy salads, and delectable desserts. Scott really knows how to take care of me. He always nails it when it comes to surprises!

My Mom!

My mom is so amazing! She is one of my life hero’s! She is an amazing example of what a mother is and should be. She is loving and accepting and full of life and fun. She is my mentor and friend, my confidant and critic. She has given me what I need to become the mom I have always wanted to be. Because of her I know that I can do anything! Thanks mom, you have truly been a blessing in my life.

I Love you mom!

What's up

So, I've been doing my blog reading and decided that I needed to update mine. I also thought it would probably be ok to post something without pictures. I always feel I need to have a picture included in my posts to give it a personal feel. Since it's been FOREVER LONG since I last posted I thought I would give everyone an update.

So, you all saw my new car Scott surprised me with. It's a 2009 Toyota corolla. Our last corolla we had for almost 10 years. It was a great car. It had been through two massive car accidents, both front and back, both not my fault....the last accident that mashed it in really good came from Scott. Let me put it this way, Scott hit ME from behind and pushed the car into an empty highway. We were lucky, but that's a whole other story for another time. Anyway, the car had been through a lot. Our first trip to Oregon was what really did it in. Ever since that trip there has been something jiggling in the front passenger side, under the hood. You'd get into the car and hear, "Jiggle, Jiggggglllee, jig, jig, jiggle." We took it to seven different car shops and everything checked out like aces. It got to the point where Scott just didn't trust the blue little thing any longer and so he went out on a limb and got me something more reliable. I love it! I really never thought I'd ever own a brand new car.

We were FINALLY approved for adoption in March! It took a whole year for the process. The one clincher...we have family living with us. It took forever to get their background checks back. Now we just wait, try to be proactive; "Hey, do you want to keep your baby after you give birth?", and do everything we can to keep ourselves busy.

My sisters are moving away form me. Kelly and Andrew are going to Alabama for school, they will be living in Tuscaloosa, and Kristy and Ryan are off to Case Western (Cleveland, OH) for dental school . It will be so sad to see them go. They are my bestest friends!

Scott and I have been working out religiously after work. We meet at the rec center in West Jordan and work out for about an hour. We swim, lift weights, and run or bike while we watch Oprah. It's been a lot of fun. We enjoy doing it together and I actually look forward to it.

I can't wait to post all our "before" and "after" pictures from our most recent home DIY's. Scott took this week off to build a custom pantry for me. It's been awesome to see him excel in this, and it's been a lot of fun to make this house our home!

On top of preparing for girls camp, planning youth conference, preparing the yard for summer, planning family events before everyone leaves, getting hooked on "Battle Star Galactica", finding time to make a post, and taking care of Scott, that's about it!

Happy Birthday to ME!

That Wallpaper thang!

We decided to do some more upgrades to the house. Around this time of year, Thanks to "The Man", we get little money back from the goverment. Normally we'd throw it back into some debt but we decided to throw a little toward debt and a lot into upgrades. We feel like we deserve it since we work so dang hard. So we decided to paint three rooms upstairs, put in new carpet, and get all new appliances for the Kitchen. I'm very excited about this. Especially since everything in this house is as old as I am. And since we have family living in our basement for free we decided to use what resources we had and put 'um to work. Our first job, take down the hideous wallpaper in the second bedroom. We were able to get three days of work into 8 short hours with their help. Just include a free lunch, drinks, and endless tunes you can sing to and a lot of great things can happen!

Scott and the STEAMER

Our Wallpaper crew

And with all hard work there was bound to be some skin...suprisingly no butt crack, but it was still funny!

Sisters

After the wallpaper came off we had to scrape off all the glue. Yummy!

There was glue snott flying everywhere.

We have more upgrades coming....I'll keep you posted.